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(Source: ruoloc, via ashash2109)

How did this happen to me?

I accomplished exactly what I sought out to do 4 months ago when I left my hometown to move across the country. The realationship I was in was terrible and pathetic. The town started becoming this boring place and all I wanted to do was get out. Lincoln, Nebraska became a place where no matter where I went people knew who I was, but they didn’t know my story and they sure as hell didn’t know me.  I had been taken advantage of so many times by so many guys that I had began to think that I would never be good enough for anyone. My entire life was people telling me that I could not measure up.  That I was not smart enough, pretty enough or cool enough.  I was unwanted, and that was a terrible feeling of dread. I thought this is what life was like… I did the only thing I knew how to do: I ran. I ran far and I ran fast. I left my hometown and moved to Wilmington, NC so that my best friend could be closer to her boyfriend who is stationed here in Jacksonville, NC.  After many dates and failed attempts at finding someone good I was just about to give up.  I met Devin…well not really….not techinically…

I was on a dating app (POF) trying to find someone who would treat me right.  Devin was one of the many guys who just happen to message me. I saw he was living in Cali and didn’t understand why he was messaging me. I was feeling lonely so I messaged back and finally ended up giving him my phone number.  After skyping for a month and talking on the phone everyday, we started dating Oct. 15th. He got back and it was the most nerve-racking thing of my entire life. We were both so nervous to meet in real life.  But the moment we layed eyes on each other it was like heaven. It was perfection and I begged and begged God to let this one actually work out. I wanted to be good enough. And for once I think I was. Its such an odd feeling to be treated right. To be dating someone who is fighting for our country and that I would be more than proud to introduce to my father.  Although it may not be easy, I will be here for him 100% because he is the first person who has ever treated me like a human being. I see myself resorting back to my old way of thinking sometimes, like that he is lying to me or that he just says things to manipulate me. But then I realize why I think these things and I try to snap my way out of it before he sees it. There have only been a few cases where he has seen a glimpse of how broken I am. I feel so bad because I don’t want him to think that I don’t trust him. But I have too many walls and I have been working on breaking them down. He is patient and understanding. He is truly wonderful. I ask myself all the time how this happened to me. How did a girl from Nebraska end up dating a Marine from Michigan who is stationed in North Carolina? Why did God bless me with this life? I think back on everything and know that all of the bad things that had happened to me in the past are lessons to help me on this new journey.  I am blessed, and I am so thankful.

Me and my wonderful amazing boyfriend <3

Me and my wonderful amazing boyfriend <3

Side note:

Hey followers, this is just a side note, but the open-when letters are for a FRIEND. My boyfriend is a Marine but he will not deploy until next year. :) I will be posting pics soon :))


Open When Letter #14-Open when you are happy.

I forgot this one’s envelope also…lol